Everybody has their own set of characteristics, be it being loud or active, cheerful, gloomy, tactical, and emotional. These characteristics, however, are in different proportions. Everybody has every bit of these human characteristics but the single component that is found in greater quantity marks our personality. A shy person is generally the one with social anxiety. They try to avoid social gatherings as they might have to face people and be pushed to have a literal man-to-man conversation. Shy people have the fear of being judged, ignored, or simply ridiculed. They are hesitant and less expressive. But all this doesn’t take away the fact they are one of the most genuine people to have around. They have a trustworthy aura around them and come up with an impression of being a good listener. They are sensitive and think before speaking unlike bold and outspoken people.
We have always drooled over shy characters from the big screen, be it Salman Khan’s character ‘Prem’ in ‘Hum Saath Saath Hain’ to Kristen Stewart’s role as ‘Bella Swan’ in ‘Twilight’. The big screen has always represented shy peoples’ sentiments in the right way. But there has been a shift in the trend. People today adore or look up-to more confident and extrovert kind of people. This somewhere has let shy people succumb to societal pressures. As, many a times, we tend to judge shy people as dumb and boring. Surfing the Internet, one can find millions of videos on ‘how to be confident’, and ‘how to overcome shyness’, while we forget that these traits make us different from others. There is no wrong in being confident or improving our public spoken skills but to consider oratory skills as the utmost mark of our intelligence is also no substitute. A recent survey has concluded that introverts are more intelligent than extroverts. They are better in writing than their counterparts. Teachers find shy students disinterested in class activities and are quick to remark them as poor students or push them into overcoming their fear of public speaking by making them stand in-front of the class and recite anything. All this is not a healthy practice. Shy people are too sensitive and the fear won’t go in one day. Moreover, bringing them in notice is another nightmare a shy person has to go through.
It’s time we stop judging someone’s intellect based on just one parameter. It is time we don’t dictate a certain code to be followed to become something you have to constantly pretend to be. Being confident is good but being original is something we should never compromise with. Shy people with their inhibitions, simplicity, and sensitivity add beauty to this rather loud and dubious world. Trying to imitate someone makes us cheat ourselves. We also become one with the crowd. Shyness is also categorized with time and tradition. Different cultures hold different opinions. In the West, particularly, shyness is considered a weakness but in India, some decades ago, shyness was considered respectable and a learned man’s trait. In recent times, because of the changed living conditions and lifestyles, a majority of people from all across the globe consider shyness as a vulnerability. So how can we help young students not fall prey to humiliating experiences of being pushed onto stages to showcase their talent? Is being confident enough to mark your ability or intelligence? The answer lies within us. It depends upon our goals in life. If one simply doesn’t feel comfortable socializing, they must be left in their own company but if they themselves want to be an influential spokesperson then they must take up interactive sessions with professionals and work on it. To continue being your true self and turning a deaf ear to all those trying to change you for reasons best known to them, you can follow the goodwill mantra to cherish the favorite version of yourself.
The game is about accepting the way you are. In being comfortable in your own skin. There is no good in copying others, trying to be like someone else. Everybody has their own charm and their own magic to offer, so believe in yourself and stop imitating others, just because they seemed to have a lot of friends or parties more than you. There is a different solace in enjoying your own company. Not everyone enjoys their lone time and if you do, feel lucky about it as you don’t have to be dependent on others for your own happiness.
Follow your instincts
Shy people always have a hard time saying no or are always feeling sorry about one thing or the other. We tend to over-think, over-exaggerate things and make a fuss in our heads while nothing of that sort exists in the real world. The other person remains totally unaware of our weird imaginations and yes it is also straining to get through logical and vertical thinking processes and end up confirming. Super-comfy people that we are, we try to keep everyone around us happy. We are courteous, and have a big heart but in the process we shouldn’t fool ourselves in the attempt of making others happy. So, next time when you say ‘no’ to a social party, don’t be sorry about it.
Let it go
Shy people have a load of unsaid emotions heaped in their hearts. We need to consider our peace of mind and the damage that we do to ourselves by literally burying ourselves in self-pity, self-criticism, and continuous self-analysis. We need to let go of everything. The time is gone and we should live-in-the-moment. By critically analyzing every situation we cannot alter it, forget about improving it (that too if communication is involved!).
Enjoy the self-talk
Only shy people know how we are always talking to our inner-self. We actually have a brain and heart conversation and the world remains completely unaware of it while all that is being discussed right in their face. There is so much talking going on that sometimes we fear being heard. And the best part is, all remains locked in our hearts.
We are the secret keepers, the soothers that the world should thank us for.